The monkies are running the zoo

I just want to start by saying, all the single parents out there should be knighted or given free passes to mcdonald's forever, or something spectacular. I think of all the moms (and dads) in the military and how hard that must be to have all the responsibility of parenting the kids. That is why I am lucky that Dan and I both are a pretty good team with T & D. BUT this week, he is in LA for work and mama be doing this thing solo!!!!!!!!

Last night:

I pick up free pizza from my buddy (thanks Chad) and the kids and I head home. Tatum falls asleep in the car, she is TOTALLY out, and Dalton is reaching across and messing with her and then laughing because she is so tired she isn't responding to him being a stinker. I tell him 5 times to stop. He finally does and takes his shoes off and puts his toes up on the window....awesome, at least he is being quiet.
We get home, wake Tatum up, she is unhappy and claims she is car sick AND hungry. I put the pizza on plates and ask what would everyone like to watch. Tatum wants Hannah Montana, Dalton wants Agent Oso, so they compromise and watch VH1 (isn't that funny)?

I decide that after a long day, I need to get in a quick workout, so I jump on the elliptical machine and get going. 14 minutes in, I hear this:

"OH YUUUUUUCKKKKK..... BAD GIIIIRRRRLLLL BUTTTTONSSSS!!!!! MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMOOOOOMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYY,,,,get IN HERE!"

I jump off and run in and here is what had happened: Tatum and Dalton were so into the Beyonce video that they left their table of pizza post to get a closer look at the new Halo video, in that short 4 minutes, Buttons had reached her hot dog body up and grabbed a giant piece of Tatum's pizza, pulled it down to the ground and had eaten most of it. By the time I ran in and we were all looking at her, she was on her back with the last of the pizza by her face trying to stuff a couple more ounces in.....what a fat kid thing to do. Nom nom nom nom nom nom. I picked her up and she looked at me like oh crap, and I spanked her a couple times.

Tatum got a new slice of pizza, Dalton had two big pieces and a PB & J sandwich, and I returned to working out.

32 minutes into working out, I am cognitively aware that Dalton is in the room and talking, maybe to me or maybe to the hulk or batman, I am not sure. But although I am reading my book somehow I do make out the "I guess I am a dog now"

I look over and he has shoved his entire body into Button's crate. WHAAAAT???

I get off the elliptical machine.

"Dalton!!" (He bumps his head inside the crate).

"Yes mommy?"

"What are you DOING in there?"

"I am a doggie now."

"It's stinky and gross, let's get you out." I can't get him out, he is stuck. I say you are too big, you are kinda stuck.

D: "Okay I guess I will just have to seep here tonight, I won't yike it, but I will just seep here."

We finally got him out. I finished working out. And then proceeded to clean the Nastiest dog poop I have ever seen in my life. I guess when you are 6 pounds of bad news and you eat a 2 pound piece of pizza, it's bound to mess with you.

Dalton couldn't sleep, so he called out for me about 11:00 and I went in there, got him back to sleep, and then he got upset about 11:30 again, so I went in and laid down with him until about 2:30 and finally got back into my bed.

Stay tuned to hear more exciting stories from tonight's adventures.